he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
