Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
