since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
