WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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