If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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