I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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