He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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