after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
