Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
