your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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