so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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