At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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