it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
