there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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