Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
