I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize