so that wasnt chicken after all
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Can you bring me the toilet please
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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