i just google imaged poop.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
