Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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