I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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