they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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