I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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