you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
