Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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