I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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