ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
