Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
