Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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