my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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