It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
