I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize