I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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