Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I want a musical about memes.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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