I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
