North Korea, Best Korea!
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
