Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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