Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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