we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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