I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
