We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
