Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
