Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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