in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
