I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
No subtext here. People are naked.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
