So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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