so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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