why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
