Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
