Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
