I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
