Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
i've created a new STD.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
