I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
